I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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