Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize