so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
