i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
