Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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