areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
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