This girl is more easily done than said...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
