if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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