hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
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