i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
