You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
