ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
