when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
