Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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