So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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