OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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