I wish my penis had an off switch
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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