if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
