I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
