I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
