She is in my trunk
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
