Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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