i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
