FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
