we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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