The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
