I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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