At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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