All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
