hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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