if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
