Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
