No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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