i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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