i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
