i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize