Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
