Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
