our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
