Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we're making bets on your personal life
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
