I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
