The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
