If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
