Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
wow bdsm is so cute
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