I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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