I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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