it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
