Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
the liver wants what the liver wants
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
