Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
