you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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