I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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