woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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