dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
