ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
