He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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