im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
