she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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