Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i drank out of a bidet.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
