Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
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