Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
