since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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