this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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