gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
