we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
