I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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