oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
