Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
