I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
